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  1. Bastard Tanker Drivers – UK Fuel Strike

    June 17, 2008 by Darren Cornwell

    Fuel Strike in the UKI don’t normally comment on the current state of the UK, but this has really got me going. You know, these fat idiots (ever seen a light-weight lorry driver) get paid between £31k and £35k a year for driving a lorry full of fuel up and down our motorways. They want like £42k a year to deliver our fuel. It’s not like their protesting for fuel duty or the inordinate cost of fuel – just a bunch of greedy bastards. Holding dear old blightly to ransom for nought more than a hefty pay increase (far out of line with current inflation). Teachers and Nurses get paid less than these lazy gits.

    Talk to a lorry driver – ‘it’s a dangerous job’ they’ll tell you ‘would you like to drive a bomb’? A bomb – what the hell are you on about, last time I checked you were driving down the M5 with complete disregard for the motorists around you, driving like absolute braindead idiot, reading a copy of the Sun, it’s not like you driving through Basra or down a street in Kandahar taking enemy fire is it? Although if your carry on like this you might very well be taking some sort of retaliation from the British public.

    Sack them – there are a ton of unemployed people that would gladly do your ‘dangerous’ job, the UK has no sympathy for your reckless demands – hand out the P45′s, give a big 2 fingers to Brussles and the inevitable human-rights issues that will arise (because we all know you can’t sack anyone these days), and get some new, better, more committed staff in to do a job which you obviously have so much difficulty doing. Do what Giulani did in NY – mass sackings. Why should we have to put up with this shit?


  2. God Damn It – Burgled

    June 13, 2008 by Darren Cornwell

    My current residence is a lovely 600 year old flat based in a tiny little town called Tiverton. It seems that while I have been away, some drug – crazy scumbags have busted open my downstairs window and had their wicked way with my fair property. Quite a feeling it is wandering through the remains of your property when it feels as though your house was at ground zero in Hiroshima – stuff everywhere.

    Not only were they idiotic enough to burgle my house, they were stupid enough to try and use my ‘stolen’ credit card. They have since been arrested by the British transport police (and charged with something else in an entirely unrelated matter), and now they are to be arrested again charged with the burglary of my house amongst other things – last I heard the case had been passed to CID and they were excited at such a big catch. I hope they rot in prison – Bastards.


  3. The story so far…..

    July 5, 2007 by Darren Cornwell

    So, it’s been a hectic few weeks, I’ve barely had time to sit on my rosy red. Was in London a few weeks ago, to attend ROA2007 (Rave on Air) – a huge broadcast event run by the Uni I got my degree at. I’ve been trying to find the time to go, and this yeaqr finally managed to get a few days up there. Thank god for TomTom, I would never have gotten around the Hanger Lane Gyratory System without it, not the mention the north circular – I love driving in London, puts a smile on my face and a clenched fist on the wheel!

    So, I got back to Devon, then a phone call, did I want to work at the Glastonbury Festival, that makes it 6 years in a row (not including the off year last year) – Brilliant, into work, got the time (I got asked ona sunday night, went in monday morning to ask for the week off) and jumped in my trusty car for the long drive. The festival was great until some badness happened at home and I had to return on a frickin thursday night, (the festival starts on a fri!). Got my passes, so had a pretty much free reign of the entire site, although I spent most of my time in the farmhouse hunting down those cheeky eBay ticket sellers. Always at work me!


  4. Custom ‘useful’ 404 error page?

    March 31, 2007 by Darren Cornwell

    I read an article on Digg a few weeks back about making a successfully useful error page. Let’s eb fair about it, while the designers and programmers of the world may well understand the server error response code 404, for most it makes no sense – although I’d bet every web surfer in the world has seen at lease one. So why is it that most error pages are completely useless. If I hit an error page, I don’t want to be told that the server encountered a problem and have to mail the webdev, I want an explanation and a way to continue my navigation of the site. I had a think about this and decided I would make a simple custom page for this scribbish theme, none to difficult really and here’s what we did.

    Open up the following directory on your server:

    'wordpress-path'/wp-content/themes/scribbish/404.php

    The path will be similar, no matter what theme you have installed, just replace ‘scribbish’ with the theme you are currently using. If you look at the bog standard error page, you will see that it just states the generic message within your template. We want to change this so that the user is

    1. Informed that some sort of error has occurred
    2. Given the option to go somewhere else

    Part 1 is easy, just add the appropriate H1 and H2 tags, along with a couple or ‘p’ marks to write what you need to see.

    Part 2 is a little bit more complicated, but not by much. I wanted to show the users the last 4 posts, perhaps that is what they were looking for. We need to know the function call in wordpress to display previous post along with a variable for the number we wish to show. A quick visit to the wordpress help pages and we find this little snippet.

    wp_get_archives('type=postbypost&limit=4');

    My blog is having trouble posting php snippets with the correct tags. So you’ll need to surround the above code with php tags.

    So insert that into your 404.php page, above the footer and possibly the sidebar depending on how your page is set out. Now when somewhere clicks or visits a part of your site with an error page, at least they may click back into your site and continue their search. You can change the ‘postbypost&limit=4′ to any number you wish, that determines how many of you recent post display.