I often get a few minutes off while designing the complexities of our latest and greatest projects, so imagine my surprise whilst browsing ars code and I found this link to one of their javascript files:

http://media.arstechnica.com/ars.static/jscripts/iesux.v1412615973.js

Loved it – iesux.js, I can almost see that moment.

The web coder (bob) is sitting at his desk – “There, finished!”, enter Boss character “Uh, bob we’ve just tried the site in IE…… a few problems…..”, back to bob “What? Oh, for fucks sake, fucking IE, 12 months I’ve been on this this F’in project and now it all goes to shit…. right….. right, ok….. I’ll fix it” the boss leaves, back to bob, “I’ll F’ing fix it alright. Right…. new file…. enter name…. iesux… yeah that’ll do it’

I know how he feels, even the VARS in the file reflect the obviously aggressive mood:

var iesux = {
    stupid_highlight_bug : function(e){ document.body.style.height..
    stupid_sticky_positioning : function(e){ var body..
    fix_stupid_bugs: function(){ iesux.stupid_highlight_bug();..
    iesux.stupid_sticky_positioning(); $('#Sidebar').show();..
}

This is a constant source of absolute irritation in my daily work patterns, make something beautiful, something sexy, something clever, test, test and test again. Finalise it, few more tests…. oh it’s fucked – scream! Rewrite several times for IE compatibility, test, fix, test, fix and if I’m lucky deploy.

Maybe I’m just a crappy coder! The thought had occured.

So, the box is back for barely 2 days (from it repair ordeal), I’d sold it to one of my very good, console loving, game playing friends and it’s already fucked – damn, those repair men are really doing a good job for Microsoft. Back on to the phone, more arguments with Microsoft and just maybe it’ll be back in time to witness the end of the universe.

Not the case!! I phones Microsoft Customer Support and got through to a really helpful rep, told him the problems:

• Power button has to be pushed really hard to turn console on (and sticks)
• HDD Cover missing
• Console won’t play disc’s (Games and DVD’s) – get the media read error

I got an apology, an omission (that the Support line is inundated with calls, they can’t cope) and a packing label within 2 hours! I also told that somebody from Microsoft’s compensation department would be ringing me to ‘keep my mouth shut’ (aka. Have something for free), not bad at all.

20 Minutes later and the compensation guys are on the phone, the call went something like this:

Me: What the deal then
Them: We can offer you a game for free
Me: Go on then, shoot, what have you got?
Them: How about PGR3?
Me: Got it, next?
Them: Perfect Dark Zero?
Me: Got that, and it’s not that great anyway, next?
Them: OK…. how about Viva Pinata… all the kids are raving about it!?
Me: Yeah, they may be, but a) I’m not a kid and b) I’ve already got it! Anything else?
Them: Kameo?
Me: …………
Them: Maybe not then, we could offer you an accessory instead, how would that suit you?
Me: What would suit me is not having to wait another 30 days for my console to come back?
Them: ……………
Them: So, we could offer you a play and charge kit?
Me: Got it already.
Them: A Wireless pad?
Me: ….. Got Several ……
Them: (Nervously)… The only other thing we can offer is a wireless headset?
Me: Great, haven’t got one of those, send it over….
Me: Or better yet, stop shafting me and get my console back within a few weeks rather than a few months?
Them:……….
Me: Come on, this is fucking ridiculous? I’ve got Halo3 on Preorder like everyone else in the world, you robbed me of Bioshock, I had to buy a new elite to play my games while I waited for you untrained, uninformed indian monkeys to fuck me over a barrel, I’ve got a freebie so brownie points but all I really want is good service and my xbox back!!
Them: ……….
Them: I’ll see what I can do sir.

The attach rate for the 360 is something like 5.6 (which is unprecedented for a console), I’m 27, have a high disposable income, own nearly every game (worth owning) for the 360 and would consider myself part of their core market – it’s inevitable that I have it all, the wireless headset is a really nice gesture and I’m glad that my packing label turned up in a few hours rather that 3 days, but you know – all us RROD xbox owners really want is a working console delivered on time and in working order.

The future of tech? With RFID and privacy becoming a prevelant threat to our modern privacy orientated lives, where will our technology take us next. We have wifi, bluetooth, gps and a whole host of technolgy related items to encroach upon our digitally orientated lives. The modern mobile phone is 20 years old and has far exceeded what anyone ever thought it would become at it’s inception.

We live in a digitally conected world, the trouble is that our digital world is often fragmented. Differening protocols, and service providers, differing standards and a lack of co-operation between the major players in the tech world makes for a less than stella convergance model.

As with all things, they take time but imagine the future of our digitally connected lives.

Starbucks / GPS and a friend?

Back in University when studying for my Degree we were always talking about convergence this and digital mediums that, a lot of what we discussed and designed ended up on the floor or archived somewhere on a distant hard-drive, but now a few years on, many of these core technologies are beginning to make their way into our lives. Try this one for size:

Your wandering down the street, your mobile bleeps at you to inform you of an event – as it happens, your phone is hooked up with GPS / 3G / WiFi and is actively scanning an online database map for the locations of all of your friends – who also ‘conveniently’ have GPS enabled and have agreed to have their data publicly accessible.

‘Come and enjoy a free coffee with your friend, bring this message with you – Starbucks’

Your phone informs you via sms.

What has just happened

Simple, you walked within 200m of 1 of your friends GPS signal (well, on the global map, you were within 200m). The server picked this up and sent an SMS to both you and your friend – who until that point were completely unaware that you were in each other’s vicinity.

• You both get to meet (which may or may not have happened anyway)
• You get a free ’sponsored’ coffee from starbucks
• Starbucks (or whoever) get increased brand awareness and possibly the chance to upsell

All parties are happy as everyone seems to have got something for nothing. The two friends have received their free coffee and Starbucks have received 2 customers that otherwise might not have passed through their doors.

A simple demonstration but not beyond the realms of possibilities. Sure, there are the privacy issues and the tin-foil wearing hat crowd to consider, but a real use for a multitude of technologies and a use that actually offers so form of benefit to all parties involved.

Next time – the humble barcode….